Hellllooooo!

1.    It’s just as important to take a crap as it is to give a crap.
2.    Michael Phelps, from Golden Boy to Bronze Buffoon.  Memo to famous people:  don’t do anything stupid especially around anyone with a camera phone.
3.    At what point in life does a woman decide that today is the day they will just put a bunch of random rotting food in a bowl beside the sink and wait for their husband to throw out?  That’s phase 2 after the seashells on the back of the toilet phase.
4.    If you still take Al Gore seriously, please raise your hand.  And while you’re at it install an $8 light bulb.
5.    We were doing some work at the church a week or so ago.  Our “foreman” asked a teen to take some screws out of a piece of wood.  The kid replied that he wanted to screw some stuff in.  I told him to just not screw it up.  Then he spent the next 3 hours screwing around.
6.    My son, right this second, has chocolate on his face and a Hannah Montana headset microphone on his head.  If his pants weren’t on, I’d need a camera phone.
7.    If you make an appointment at the Apple store at South Park in Charlotte before 10 am, make sure you find out about the “secret” mall entrance so you don’t get locked out until 10 and miss your appointment.  Hopefully, they will work you in quickly like they did me without the “Duh, everyone knows about the “secret” entrance” attitude.
8.    I don’t know who’s calling from 000-000-0000, but I sure ain’t answering it.
9.    Most days, Karen fixes te girls lunch.  She gives them ham and cheese or PB&J.  Once a week, we let them buy their lunch.  Guess what the school was serving on Friday-that’s right, PB&J.  It probably had pizza grease added to it.
10.    If there is a better snack than Wal-Mart’s Fudge Sandwich Cookies with a glass of milk please don’t tell me.